the ecstasy and the agony...

life is funny. i turned 30 last saturday, and as many of you know celebrated with a rather triumphant hometown show at Irving Plaza in NYC -- it was nothing short of an amazing experience to be on that stage looking out at a room packed with hundreds and hundreds of people getting down to the music my friends and i were making.

immediately, the universe delivered a reality check.

two nights later we found ourselves in DeKalb, IL -- a place we've never been before -- and it was back to the grind of slowly building an audience. a group of 40 or so people were there to check us out -- some of whom had seen us last summer at 10KLF or Summercamp, but most of whom had only heard the buzz and some music online. Our music was met with the usual response from a crowd such as that -- some dancing, some confusion, some dumbfounded looks. It's all very strange. I found that it's much easier to play for a large crowd than a small one. With a large crowd, it's really easy to keep the energy going because there's so much of it coming back at us -- all we need to do is play, and the energy is there. With a small crowd, there's more responsibility on us to keep it going ourselves. With a crowd that is unfamiliar with our music, they have to really take it all in, so they aren't able to give as much back. It can be an exhausting prospect sometimes. While we were playing, i messed up a part of a song, and started to get a little down... then i looked out at the 40 people in the room and remembered a time not so long ago that i would be absolutely thrilled if 40 people came to hear our music -- a time when 40 people provided more than enough energy to get me through the show. i thought back on those days and tapped into the moment, and rocked out as hard as i could for everyone who was there to take it all in.

We plan on getting a new van when we return from this midwest run -- our big green monster has served us well over the last 3 years and 150,000 miles. We were hoping that she would get us through this week without a problem -- naturally, a snag had to be hit. After the show, the alternator died and left us stranded on the side of the highway. fortunately, we were with the Duke of Deep and his Trailblazer, so he drove me and rob and adam back to his place while g and josh waited for the tow truck. fortunately, we had the next day off so we could do all that had to be done and not miss a show. Josh and George and the Van were towed to a hotel a mile away, got a good nights sleep, and the next day they installed a new alternator. This was only the second time that the van died on us while on tour. The first time, we also had a day off to take care of it... i am amazed at the mysterious ways in which the universe works.